Use
of Friends Cemetery in Prospect Park
Prepared
by the NYQM Cemetery Committee
“…Nothing
has carried me up into the life of God, or done more to open out the
infinite meaning of love, than the fact that love can span this break
of separation, can pass beyond the visible and hold right on across
the chasm”.
-- Rufus Jones
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“And
this is the Comfort of the Good,
That the Grave cannot hold them,
And that they live as soon as they die.
For Death is no more
Than a turning of us over from time to eternity.
Death, then, being the way and condition of life,
We cannot love to live,
If we cannot bear to die.
They that love beyond the World cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill what never dies.
Nor can Spirits ever be divided
That love and live in the same Divine Principle,
The Root and Record of their Friendship.
If Absence be not Death, neither is theirs.
-- William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693
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History of the NYQM
Cemetery
Situated on one of the highest points in Brooklyn, the Quaker Burial
Ground, 160 years old, began in 1849 (before Prospect Park was created)
when
nine acres of undeveloped farmland were purchased land from four
non-Quaker
landowners. The cemetery is located on what was the border between the
city
of Brooklyn and the town of Flatbush.
In the next several years, additional land was purchased, resulting in
roughly 12 acres, although the original size may have been larger.
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Who is Eligible for Burial?
Members
and former members of New York Quarterly Meeting (NYQM), their spouses,
children and their spouses and grandchildren are eligible for burial.
On rare
occasions, others may be buried with Cemetery Committee
approval.
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Access
to the Cemetery
Access
can be arranged by contacting one of the
committee members, or by calling the cemetery telephone at
646-580-9147
and speaking with one of the groundskeepers, or by leaving a message
on voice mail (after 6 rings). Your call will be returned within 24
hours. If you are unable to contact the cemetery or any committee
member, Quarterly Meeting Office (212) 777-8866 can assist you.
Click here
for a map of the cemetery.
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In
Case of Death
The
individual must be pronounced dead by a physician. If the individual
dies at home but has been under medical or hospice care, the doctor
should be contacted and asked to sign the death certificate. If this
is not possible, the next option is to call 911. You should be
prepared for a long delay, a police presence, and, if the death was
unattended, the possible sealing of the residence. Once death occurs,
there are several decisions and tasks to be undertaken. A member of
the Cemetery Committee should be notified of the death. We are
available to provide assistance and support as needed.
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Paperwork
The
funeral director provides the paperwork required by the Department of
Health when the body is taken to the cemetery for a whole body
burial. If there is a cremation, he will provide a cremation
certificate. These documents are collected by the cemetery staff and
forwarded to the Quarterly Meeting Office where they are kept with
the Meeting records. The funeral director can also provide the family
with extra copies of the death certificate, usually for a fee of
$15.00 each. To settle the estate, a copy will be required for each
bank and brokerage account, safe deposit box, social security,
pension, and others. Copies will be provided quickly at the time of
death but later requests can take weeks to months. We suggest you
order 15 copies.
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Important
procedures
Please
note that it is very important that at the time of burial, the
following items are brought to the cemetery:
1.
Burial certificate for either full burial or ashes. This is secured
by the funeral home.
2.
Death certificate This is also secured by the funeral home.
3.
NYQM burial form, signed. This will be emailed to you by a member of
the committee and filled out prior to burial.
4.
$800 in cash for the gravedigger for a full body burial, or $100
check made out to NYQM of for ashes burial.
5.
Payment for burial site to NYQM, if not already paid in advance.
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Funeral
Directors
The
funeral director is chosen by the family or other responsible
individual acting as the family’s agent. Friends are encouraged to
make a decision about which funeral home they wish to use ahead of
time and not wait until the time of death. The funeral home staff
will prepare the body and hold it until arrangements for burial or
cremation are made. Their fees will depend on the type of service
provided and are paid by the family. Friends may select any funeral
director. Two funeral directors who are familiar with our tradition
of simplicity, and who have been used by Friends are:
Greenwich
Village Funeral Home, 199 Bleecker Street, 10012, (212) 431-6712
Heights
and Hill Funeral Directors, 115 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11201,
(718) 797-3248, Ronald Spear.
Green
burials are available at this funeral home.
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Friends
Cemetery
Friends
are urged to choose a gravesite in the cemetery far in advance of
illness or death. Friends are encouraged to speak to a member of the
Cemetery Committee or call
the cemetery telephone and make
arrangements to visit the cemetery and select a gravesite.
If
a family has chosen whole body burial, the body should be buried
within one week of death. If a family has chosen cremation, burial
of ashes may be done at any time. Prior reservation of a gravesite
greatly simplifies the burial, especially when the weather is
inclement.
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Cemetery
Fees
Costs
for gravesites
(Payments
are made at the time a site is reserved):
Members
of the NYQM: $500
Former
Members and Family members of a Member of NYQM: $1,000
Others,
not listed above, must be approved by the Cemetery Committee: $2,000
Burial
charges
If
there is to be a whole body burial, a member of the Cemetery
Committee will assist the family in contacting gravediggers. The
usual cost to open a grave is $800 and is paid in cash at the time of
burial. Rarely, under exceptional conditions of frozen terrain or
large boulders, the cost could be greater.
Cost
of burying ashes
The
cost for a burial of ashes is $100. Payment should be made by a check
to the NYQM.
Costs
for spreading ashes, no gravesite
Members
of NYQM: $50
Former
Members and family members of Members: $100
Others,
not listed above, must be approved by the Cemetery Committee: $150
Additional
costs (estimates only):
Funeral
parlor: $1325 - $3500 (includes cost of pine box for ashes or pine
casket)
Headstone:
$645 - $1095
Engraving:
$315 - $415
Name
inscribed on memorial stone:
Members: $50 + cost of inscription.
The
above cemetery fees are the responsibility of the family. Plots
should be reserved and paid in advance. Since the fees do not cover
the cost of maintaining the cemetery, Friends are encouraged to
consider making an annual gift to the Cemetery Endowment Fund.
Please
understand that the costs and prices can and do change. The costs and
prices noted above are estimates correct as of May 2009 and are
provided as a guide.
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Headstones
The
Brooklyn Monument Co. (242 25th
Street, Brooklyn, NY 11232, (718) 499-8500, John Hakola, president) and
Phil Madonick Monuments (98-20 Queens Blvd., Forest Hills, NY 11374
(718) 377-8500, Mark Markowitz) are two companies often used by
Friends. Monuments must adhere to our tradition
of simplicity; ones already in place are a good guide. The cost of
the monument or inscription on the Memorial Stone is the
responsibility of the family. If family members wish to be present
when the stone is installed, a request should be made with the
monument company to notify them.
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Gravesite
and Tree Planting
In
order to avoid maintenance problems and obscuring gravestones, families
are encouraged not to plant in their burial sites. Those wishing to
plant anything other than ephemeral spring bulbs are asked to consult
the Cemetery Committee in advance. Daffodils have done well over the
years. Tulips have usually been eaten by resident creatures.
Anyone interested in contributing
to the planting of trees throughout the cemetery to begin to replace
some of the mature ones expected to be lost over the next decade can
contribute to a special tree fund (e.g., Witch Hazel, Dogwood,
Sourwood).
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Memorial
Meeting
This
is arranged through the deceased Friend’s Meeting.
Fifteenth
Street Monthly Meeting
(212)
777-8866
Flushing
Monthly Meeting
(718)
261-9832
Brooklyn
Monthly Meeting
(212)
777-8866
Morningside
Monthly Meeting
(212)
777-8866
Staten
Island Meeting
(718)
727-4535
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Contact
information
To
speak to a Cemetery Committee member, please call 646-580-9147 and
leave a message. The answering machine is checked daily, and someone
from the Cemetery Committee will return your call.
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